Birthdays

Hello High Heelers,

Well, tomorrow is my birthday. I am very partial to letting the whole world know when my birthday is so that I get loads of messages. Which means that every reader is now obligated to wish me a happy birthday – I’m delighted to receive FaceBook messages, emails, smses, or phonecalls. I’m not fussy. My very busy boss, Natalie Maroun, remembers to phone me every year, Just saying. Birthdays do not make me feel old, they make me feel special, I could happily have one every day and clock up 365 additional digits to my age over the next annum. I think I look good for someone in the triple century numbers.

Today I spent a few moments trying to decide what to do for my birthday. Tea party, night out, lunch or a little shin-dig with mates at the pub. The birthday options are quite endless. I finally decided to be traditional, so did a little research around what a proper birthday should entail. I was quite disappointed by the results. Mostly, I discovered that there’s no good reason behind why we celebrate birthdays. Some say they began when pagans believed that birthday people were susceptible to evil spirits, so they thwarted the bad by celebrating and lighting candles.

The origins of the ‘must have’ birthday cake are also not clear. There are writings around them having become popular in the 17^th Century in wealthy homes. But now they are ‘common’. I don’t know about you High Heelers, but I’m not partial to ‘common’ things. That’s a terrible description. I did find out that early cakes were quite similar to bread in their dough and consistency, their main difference was that they had icing. I suddenly understand Marie Antoinette’s ‘Let them eat cake’ statement a little better – poor, misunderstood lady. She didn’t just lose her mind; she lost her whole head for her incorrectly understood cake faux pas. That’s a lot to lose.

So here I sit, wondering how to have a ‘traditional birthday’ with nothing solid to go on. I’m supposed to have cake with candles to discourage evil spirits (though I’m pretty sure I’ve never encouraged them either). When the idea of cake is to bring people together to share and even make new friends. It doesn’t really make sense. So perhaps I shall settle on forgoing the cake, not lighting the candles and simply settling on feeling special and catching up with old friends who take the time to get in touch. 

So the point of these ramblings is... we don’t question things enough. This is the first time I have questioned why we have birthday celebrations. The first time! We don’t question Easter eggs and the bunnies that deliver them. We love that bunny, but we don’t look into the meaning behind it (since when does chocolate come from bunnies anyway?) We don’t wonder where Father Christmas came from – he is not Sinterklaas, patron of children, sailors and Amsterdam. We just follow tradition.

I’m not saying we should dump all traditions and kill the holiday seasons that we love. What I am suggesting is that we look into the meaning of the things we do to understand them better. In fact, we should just think about everything we do. As I ease towards my thirty-second celebration, I’d like to start my own traditions, set my own expectations and find my way of feeling grateful for getting through another year. Life is tough. Life is precious. Life is worth celebrating. Pull on those heels and go dancing for the sake of birthdays this weekend High Heelers, or just do whatever makes you feel special.

Have a wonderful week.

Cheers,
Jo

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Keeping up appearances

Hello High Heelers,

You all have a bone to pick with me. Why? Well. I don’t actually tell you the entire story always. That’s the honest truth. I keep stuff from you. In fact, I keep information from you all the time. Have you noticed that I never tell you about debaucherous nights out? I’ve also never told you about the dodgy experience at the club. I didn’t blog about my involvement in illegal activities and I’ve never shared that I’m actually an undercover CIA Agent – living in South Africa. I have never told you any of these things, partially because they’re not true but mostly because this blog is accessible to the world. So I keep things from you. I’m sorry.

As you read these words hundreds of people are reading with you. That’s the wonder of the internet. It’s the power that Social Networking has to transform Egypt and Libya and change the face of the modern world. On the flipside, my mother is probably reading with you right now (no offense, mom). That’s the reality. Everything you put out onto the wonderful World Wide Web is accessible to strangers and friends alike. Sometimes you want to be anonymous but sometimes you also want to be your full, exposed self. There’s no boundary. There’s no separating the two. When you’re online, you’re open, and the perceptions you create about yourself get drawn right back to you.

It amazes me how many people FaceBook about their awful job and their horrible husband. They talk about their partners ‘bratty children’ and the terrible thing they heard in the office loo. They put it out without thinking. Or they put it out with thinking, but with ignoring the consequences. People are losing their jobs and some, even their families. And forgive me, but rightly so, you don’t have the right to tell millions of people that you hate your boss and expect no comeback. If you shouted at the top of your voice to a hundred co-workers that the MD was an idiot, you’d get hauled into a disciplinary faster than you could say ‘Just kidding!’ So why do people think it’s acceptable to share such inappropriate thoughts with millions of strangers? It’s quite absurd. 

So as I tell you the details of what I wish to share and what’s appropriate to share (for instance, that my boss, Natalie Maroun is the best boss in the world), may I encourage you to think about what you put out onto the web? Tell us about your dreams, your accomplishments and about that great thing that happened and leave the intimate details of your argument with your spouse between the two of you. You should treat the internet with respect and you should use it as a tool to grow yourself and your reputation.

This week let’s be High Heelers who put our best foot forward and create an accurate, and reputable online image. Let’s keep private things private and share what’s fair. Let’s be people with dignity and respect.

Have a wonderful week.

Cheers,
Jo

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Take Tradition by the Heel

Hello High Heelers,

Shew – in my life, wedding season in the friendship circle is in full swing. Well, at least the planning stages. I chatted with a colleague today who spent the weekend shopping for bridesmaid dresses. I also spent Saturday shopping for not one, but two body flattering, booty flattening, bust fattening, crisp, white wedding frocks for two blushing brides-to-be (who just happen to be fabulous women, High Heelers and my friends).

All the shopping got us girls talking – and me thinking. The list of traditions you need to follow is quite substantial. ‘Something borrowed, something blue, something old, something new.’ If you leave out the old, you could be setting yourself up for a disastrous marriage (and no guys, your mother-in-law do not qualify as the ‘something old!’). Then there’s the very expensive, five-tiered cake which needs to be cut in unison and smooshed over each other’s faces – much like clowns throwing cream pies at one another.

There’s a garter to be removed (preferably with groom’s teeth) and thrown at all the single men. And a bouquet that gets chucked at the spinsters. Please note that the unmarried people have objects hurled at them as their penance for being single – not very nice is it? Then the idiot that caught the garter needs to dance with the bachelorette that caught the flowers. And they look really silly trying to look elegant while being completely and uncomfortably exposed under the disco lights.

Gosh! Do I need to go into the decorations and the vows and all the rest? No? Good. You know the drill… and the bill. Every detail of the wedding is important and every fine frill can be traced back to an old tradition that was thought up many moons ago – if only we could remember where it came from. Creative couples add in their own little nuances, but the big traditions are kept sacred.

If you haven’t noticed by now, the tradition of western weddings intrigue me. It’s funny how we’ve progressed tremendously when it comes to gender neutrality. We are all supposedly treated equally at work and in life. But when it’s comes to the ‘big day’, it’s all playing into gender roles and doing what you’re supposed to do according to tradition. The woman wears a dress – even if she’s a civil engineer and hasn’t even donned a skirt in past times. The guy (surfer / heavy metal musician / accountant) wears his tailored suit and the men deal with the important stuff, like speeches.

Sigh! Now, I’d like to be bold and suggest that we turn the tradition on its head. I’d really like to. I’d love to see the man walk down the aisle to be given away to be owned by his woman (which if you think about it, is kinda closer to reality). I’d love to see the moms do the speeches and the boys spend all day getting their look just right. Wouldn’t that be interesting?

But the truth is, I’m a sucker for tradition. Does that make me a woman of contradictions – hell yes! And this week I’d like to suggest that you can have your (wedding) cake and eat it. You can be against traditional gender roles but still maintain your femininity and high heels. You can be a person who respects where things come from while on a journey to create new meaning, new truths and new traditions.

You really can. But you’ll be doing it from the front. You’ll be standing tall amongst the few. You’ll face some tough times. But you’ll be all the better for it.

Have a wonderfully traditional, or not, week.

Cheers,
Jo

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Well well!

Hello High Heelers,

Well, the flu season is hitting hard on this side of the world. People are beginning to cough and splutter, sniff and snort, it’s not very pretty. So far, I’ve managed to stay healthy despite being surrounded by ‘the virus’. As much as we are all affected by it every year and we’ve all had it at some point, we often forget that common flu killed tens of millions of people in the twentieth century and up to half a million people succumb to the virus internationally, every year. It’s quite unnecessary.

Now this might sound a little insensitive (and I apologise in advance), but I’d like to suggest that people don’t really die from flu these days, they die from ignorance (as in ignoring their symptoms). Certainly this is true in the modern world (which includes those of us with internet!) We have access to medicines and vitamins that help us overcome illness, we also have a full spectrum of potions that help us prevent falling ill to begin with. And for those who are more ‘naturally inclined’ following healthy eating plans and using natural remedies are also powerful health helpers.

You know, if curiosity killed the cat, then denial killed the human. We really ought to be a little more like our feline friends – careful and curious – we don’t get nine lives. I had flu a few years ago and ignored it for weeks. In fact, I swallowed every painkiller I could find at the time, to mask the sick feeling while I ran around like a hooligan expecting to get well. I soon ended up with bronchitis. The only cool thing about having bronchitis was that I had to nebulise three times a day and being plugged into the machine made me feel superhuman and gave my friends hours of entertainment as they named me ‘Darth Vader’. I did humour them and happily shouted “Luke, I am your father” a few times while breathing through my nebuliser. Funny stuff!

But I continued to run around like the lunatic that I am. And finally, on my 29^th birthday the illness knocked me down. I ended up in hospital and hooked up to more scary machines than I had ever seen. I had managed to make myself well and truly ill and did a good job of almost knocking myself down permanently. For days I was stuck amongst more ill people and was forced to eat disgusting hospital food. Though I did recover after some time, I found out month’s later that through taking excessive analgesics (painkillers that help reduce temperature) on an empty stomach (as I was feeling too ill to eat) I had burnt a hole in my left kidney that will never regenerate. Not clever.

Now there is a moral to the madness. You see, we were built to shine High Heelers. We were designed to be the best we can be. But we cannot be fabulous and fun when we’re filled with bugs. That means we need to look after our bodies – which house our wonderful minds and beautifully big brains.

We’ve blamed the birds and the swines for our flu in the past. How about we take responsibility for our wellness and we keep fit? And when we get ill, how about acknowledging you’re ill and taking the right actions to get well? I’m going to keep up with the vitamin C this winter and I’m going to wash my hands often as I do my bit to stay germ-free and on my feet.

No matter where you’re from, have a wonderful, well week, High Heelers.

Cheers,
Jo

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Addictions!

Hello High Heelers

I know we’re all dying every day and that each moment we live brings us closer to our final breath, but I feel like I’m dying faster than I should be today. It’s been holiday after holiday on this side of the world. Now that we’re back into the swing of normal length weeks, I find myself in desperate need of my 3 o’clock nap. I had 5 days of them, but today I had to work right through to the end of the day. It’s been quite strenuous. I’m tired just thinking about it. In fact, I’m exhausted.

It’s funny how routine becomes so ingrained in us. One of the most basic routines that guides us through the day is our eating habits. 8am breakfast, 1pm lunch and 7pm dinner with all the snack times in between. If I don’t get my 10am cuppa tea you can forget about seeing me smile for the rest of the day. The caffeine, the sugar rush and the little taste of ‘comfort’ is my drug. Without it I have very little personality and I’m quite frankly, grumpy! I think many of us have that little ‘thing’ that makes them feel better. It’s chocolate for many of us girls, coffee for some, cigarettes for others… and then there are those who take it a little further and are bound by an addiction that rules their health.

Well, after learning from Prof Tim Noakes (yes, I am still impacted by his talk a month later), I realised that I’m addicted to carbohydrates. Well, at least I was. Shortly after the learning, I cut all full carbohydrates and grains from my diet. No bread, no cake, no rice, no pasta, and most devastatingly, no pizza. To say that it was hard is an understatement. On day one I was actually ok. Day two and three were fine as I munched carrots and cucumbers, but on day four I would have stolen candy from a kid to get my fix. I couldn’t sleep, I had a fever, my body ached, I was fatigued and I was like a call of scary hormones. Quite simply – I was dangerous. On day six we held a session in our boardroom with chocolates and sweets on the table. I had to physically restrain myself by sitting on my hands – and luckily my boss, Natalie Maroun, was sitting right next to me, keeping a close eye.

Some psychologists say that it takes 10 days to form a new habit or change an old one. I’ve heard that alcoholics need 28 days to break the worst of their addiction. Many say that it’s an individual thing and the time varies – which I buy more readily. However, the common denominator in most of these habit forming and breaking techniques (that I can find) is the fact that you need to change the behaviour immediately, constantly motivate for the right behaviour, be disciplined over time and avoid temptations at all cost during the beginning phases.

A month into my carb-free eating I am more energetic, I eat less but more frequently and the idea of wolfing down my sacred pizza slice makes me feel a little sick (on most days). But don’t bring a piece of chocolate cake anywhere near me, or a mint chocolate – you might lose a finger or two! Getting through our bad addictions is a lifelong struggle. Is it worth it? I’d say ‘yes’. The benefits outweigh the difficulty. My body is happier, my mind is clearer and I’m slowly dropping extra weight. But forget about depriving me of my tea!

What’s your addiction that weighs you down? Why not think about a strategy to fool yourself into not needing it anymore? Start today. Cut it out and stand tall in the knowledge that you can. I’m not sure how long it would take me to get over my heel addiction, but I’m not sure I want to, and I don’t think it causes harm to anything or anyone (other than my credit card – which is surprisingly resilient). But if I had to discover that it was ruining my health, I’d definitely become a flat-shoed one!

Stand tall and strong today in the knowledge that you can overcome any addiction that holds you hostage. If I can, anyone can. Let’s go! Have a wonderful week.

Cheers,

Jo

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